All...By...My...self....

One thing that i've realised over the last few years is that I am most alone when there are lots of people around. It's wierd I know but its so true... when I am all by myself in the middle of nowhere is when I feel the most like i belong. Its something that has haunted me and makes me wonder sometimes whats wrong with me... I mean I do like being around other people... I not turning into some hermit or something... but as some of my close friends know that being around other people for me means a little different than it does with some others. I realised at school the last two years that if i was haveing a stressful day i would do something that most people would consider strange. I would go to Tim's all by myself and get my hot chocolet and my bagel and study those fellow humans that came around me. I know I'm a wierd person but its rather interesting what you can learn by mearly paying attention to the little things. ok enough of the wierd side of me... I'll go on to the other part... being in the middle of nowhere... I love it, mostly becouse.... well I don't really know. It's so vast and amazing. I guess the one thing a like about it is that I feel closer to God somehow when I'm out there. I like going for walks out in the middle of nowhere by my self and really talking to God one on one out loud. Just like He's walking right next to me. It seems so much more real and personal that way. I just lay out whatever I'm thinking and just let His presents wash over me. I guess i get that same sort of feeling sometimes when I'm in a large place where no one knows me and the thongs of humanity are all around and I once again feel so alone yet not. Being to watch tose around me and see how God made each one of the billions of us on earth so different. Even identical twins are different in so many ways if you just watch them for a bit. I guess in the end I can say I just enjoy being amongst God's creation no matter where it is. I still have to say I like the vast outdoors and being really alone better.